MY DVDs

REVIEWED

Hello dear reader,
here you can read my thoughts on the DVDs in my humble collection. What I think of each movie, and other bits and pieces along the way.
The images are designed to be vaguely representative of the item in question. I try to go for 'different' shots. Like American Pie 2. I could have gone for the 'glue-not-lubricant' scene, but instead I go for a band camp shot! Of course, a smartly dressed Alyson might possibly have swayed my decision, I'm not gonna say. :-)

Please note that these reviews may well include spoilers, though I try not to as a rule.

And, finally, I must say this...

This film is amazing!

My top movies:

With 9½ points...

Amélie

Grosse Point Blank

With 9 points...

Nurse Betty

The Matrix

With 8½ points...

Buffy - season two collection

Fly Away Home

The Terminator

With 8 points...

American Pie 2

Chicken Run

Heathers

Mission to Mars

Nikita

The Lost Boys

Terminator 2

Tomb Raider

With 7½ points...

Acrophobie (Don't Look Down)

Babe

Minority Report

Unbreakable

DVD #1	Acrophobie (2000) [Don't Look Down]	A person afraid of heights in a glass-sided elavator going up a tall building... bad idea!. 1.33:1
Languages	English, French 2.0
Length	86 minutes
Rating	FR 16+
My score	7½
This is a made-for-TV movie 'presented' by Wes Craven. Starring Megan Ward, it is actually not a bad 'horror' movie, though in a different realm from zombies. Megan plays 'Carla', a young woman who loses grip of her younger sister after a terrible accident at a high waterfall in the mountains some place. Her sister falls to her death. This, as you could imagine, haunts Carla - as does a powerful fear of heights.

	In an attempt to cure herself of her fear, she talks a university professor into enroling her in his programme designed to conquer a fear of heights by presenting it to you face-on, like going up in high places. Very unfortunately, people start to die in bizarre circumstances. Is the professor not all that he seems, or has Carla's sister returned to exact revenge?
Verdict: More a psycho-thriller than a horror, in the style of Hitchcock. Megan Ward does a brilliant job of looking like she'll wet herself or throw up any moment now...

DVD #2	Air Control (1999?)	No image yet, sorry. 1.33:1
Languages	English and French?
Length	~95 minutes?
Rating	?
My score	7
This is basically a Keifer Sutherland movie in which he sits and stares at a radar screen to direct air traffic while a series of mishaps occur. Considering the amazingly low budget this film must have had (an awful lot of it is Keifer and his monitor talking in a darkened room), and the fact that they only use about four sets and two locations, this film does actually hold some interest. Keifer's character, years ago, was involved in the loss of a plane. Somehow he got laid off as a result of it, and he went in to software. A friend asks him to drop by the control room to help out on a busy holiday (Christmas?) and he does so reluctantly. His friend hands him a bunch of paper strips to give out - that's like one step up from making coffee. Then, as people leave (or freak out) and incidents happen, he finds himself getting plugged in to control traffic. Can he hack it? Will he fall apart under the pressure? Of course he'll be okay, the movie will have a happy ending, you can just 'tell' it is one of those types of movie. The fun, however, is in watching all these mishaps pile up (watch out for Henry Winkler as a techie!), and also in wondering "will the next scene also be set in this room?". Verdict: I'd recommend it for less than a tenner (in euros), but otherwise leave it until ITV shows it at half one in the morning on a cold winter's night...

DVD #3	Alerte Finale (2000) [Critical Mass]	The hapless guard and his side-kick. 1.33:1
Languages	English, French 2.0
Length	93 minutes
Rating	FR TP
My score	7
An old nuclear processing plant is being shut down. A security guard (Treat Williams) is showing around a group of journalists accomanying a Senator as he tours the plant with some dumb political agenda. His PA is Lori Loughlin, who is a much more interesting character than the slime Senator. Meanwhile, Udo Kier plans to set off a bomb in the plant. There's enough nuclear material lying around to make a large chunk of the US uninhabitable for quite a while.

There's history and backstory abound; amazingly inept Pentagon-Chief-Of-Security types (the US will not negotiate with terrorists...even if they have the ways and means to wipe out a large area in a matter of hours; there's also a cute Pentagon-Chief-Of-Security's aide who acts as a mouthpiece for all the thoughts we want to shout at the TV (are they crazy? these terrorists will kill thousands of people, we must try to negotiate!), though it would be more believable if she was dressed the part (her attire is too 'look, I'm sexy'); not to mention our terrorist has some of the most inept accomplices since America's Dumbest Criminals...

All in all, and without giving anything away, this is sorta like a filmed The-Famous-Five-Go-On-A-Nuke-Hunt-And-Stuff-Gets-Blown-Up-Along-The-Way. Before you email me and say 'the ending was kinda stupid', the entire film was kinda stupid, so don't go expecting a classy ending... It is a shame that Lori Laughlin was not better used. Her main role, it seems, was to follow the hunky security guard and act like a stereotypical-woman-in-an-action film; though to be fair she gets to fire a machine gun (with amazing accuracy) while her eyes are squeezed shut and her head is turned away... Verdict: It's great fun - perfect for sharing with beer and pizza and watching with your tongue ever-so-slightly ripping a hole in your cheek.

DVD #4	Ally McBeal season 4 part 1 (2000)	The master of run-on sentences. 1.33:1
Languages	English, French 2.0; subtitled
Length	Approx. 504 minutes (2 x ~42)
Rating	BBFC 15/12/12
My score	7
So, call me crazy if I happen to like Ally McBeal. Sure, it has changed a little, but Ally is still the insecure and fidgety master of run-on sentences. And for the price (season four is split into two box sets, that combined add up to roughly half of the cost of a season of Buffy), you can't go wrong with some twenty hours of Ally. Verdict: An inexpensive way to enjoy a few evenings. And why not?

DVD #5	Ally McBeal season 4 part 2 (2000)	No image yet, sorry.
Languages	English, French 2.0; subtitled
Length	Approx. 462 minutes (~42 x 11)
Rating	BBFC 15/12/12
My score	7
Well, as you'd expect it sags a little in the middle. But you have to see the 'Richard and John do LA' episode to believe it. It is nice to see a return of the baby, even if it is old and wrinkly and limps along with a zimmer frame. In fact, the only quibble I have is the final episode. It just... you know... stops. It's like there's a third part, or another episode to follow. But, alas, no. That's kinda weird, you'd have expected maybe some sort of cliffhanger. Okay, not like Buffy jumping to her death, but something, yeah? Verdict: As for part one, it doesn't cost much, it is fun. So why not, huh?

DVD #6	Amélie [UK release] (2001)	Can I take her home? 2.35:1
Languages	French 5.1 DTS; subtitled
Length	116 minutes
Rating	BBFC 15
My score	9½
Sometimes you get a movie and some people drool all over it, and when you see it it turns out to be nothing special... Amélie, on the other hand, is special. I guess it says something that it has been rated number 10 in IMDb's top 250 films of all time. But, first, this. It is a slow and gentle film set in a visionary Paris like it would be in dreams. Everything is perfect and 'just so'. If you've ever seen any of JP Jeunet's other work (Delicatessen, The City Of Lost Children), then you'll know what to expect - these worlds are not real places, they are places like they should be. Some of the camera sequences are very ambitious, and as such there are small flaws for the eagle-eyed viewer to pick up; but we should not criticise the flaws, instead we should thank JP Jeunet for having the ambition to try such photography, and to make such a film reality. I have heard some people berate this film, and I guess they are the sort of people that just don't get what is so special about European cinema at it's finest. Please, put up with the subtitles. Don't wait for Hollywood to 'remake' this movie. They simply won't get it right. Ever. Don't believe me? Look at the remake of Nikita (not bad, not as good as the original), or My Father The Hero (the original had an quirky charm, the remake sucked). And those original films were okay or good, but not pure class. Amélie is pure class. Period. Verdict: Nine and a half is about as good as I can give a movie, and this one gets it.

DVD #7	American Pie (1999)	1.85:1
Languages	English 5.1; subtitled
Length	91 minutes
Rating	BBFC 15
My score	6½
Truth be told, I watched this in the cinema because a certain actress was in it, and it wasn't very good. So, on a whim, and 'cos it was a nice price, I decided to pick up the DVD. This version, sold as the 'uncut' version, was so much better. References and little things in the film made sense. It was funny. In fact, I'm still a little pissed that it was cut around so much for the cinema release. Like, what, was it really necessary to cut out the boy having sex with an apple pie? For God's sake, so many mundane films have 'sex scenes', you'd have thought they'd laugh at an sex-with-pie scene, not cut it! No wonder the cinema version wasn't good! It's an okay movie if you like this sort of grossish comedy. Verdict: Okay, but the sequel is better.

DVD #8	American Pie 2 (2001)	Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! 1.85:1
Languages	English 5.1 DTS; subtitled
Length	106 minutes
Rating	BBFC 15
My score	8
Much better. This film picks up, say, a year or so after the original; though it may have the power to stand on it's own (ie, you don't need to watch the original first), and a rare thing in Hollywood movies - this is a sequel that surpasses the original. If you are faced with a choice of American Pie or American Pie 2 (and you can't afford the boxed set with both), then go for this. It is less 'plain gross', it is funnier, and it has a whole lotta flutes. Verdict: Lovely. And Alyson's part... Oooooh! :-)

DVD #9	Babe (1999)	That'll do, Pig... that'll do. 1.85:1
Languages	English, French 5.1; German, Italian, Spanish 2.0; subtitled
Length	92 minutes
Rating	BBFC U
My score	7½
The quintessential 'animal' movie. Highly recommended. My only regret is there is no audio commentary, for answering questions like "How did they do that?!?".

DVD #10	Backdraft (1991)	Uh-oh, Rick's just blown the fuses... 2.02:1
Languages	English 5.1. French/German/Italian/Spanish in Surround; subtitled
Length	132 minutes
Rating	BBFC 15
My score	7
A slow burning (look at the length!) movie about firemen facing up to an arsonist. The fire scenes are spectacular, and unlike some films you aren't going to spend your time willing them to pick up the pace. I feel this movie was, in part, made as a tribute to the fire fighters who deal with things like this (but possibly not this dramatic) on a regular basis - and it certainly gives you an appreciation of what their jobs must be like on the hairier days. Verdict: Not bad.

DVD #11	Blade édition prestige (1998)	C'mon, make my day! 2.35:1
Languages	English, French 5.1; subtitled
Length	115 minutes
Rating	FR 12 (!! - is BBFC 18 in UK)
My score	7
Rated 12 in France. Wow! This is the story of the part-human part vampire (Wesley Snipes) who takes on the task of ridding us of the vampires. It is sleek and stylish in a way that new-era vampire stories like Ultraviolet wish they were... in the beginning we had cheese like Hammer Horror and re-enacted for the excerable "Bram Stoker's Dracula". Then films like "The Lost Boys" (see below) and "Near Dark" brought a new (mainly leather) look to vampire stories, they brought them into the modern day. With "Blade", they had come of age. Verdict: Awesome!

DVD #12	Blair Witch 2 : Book Of Shadows [special edition] (2000)	1.85:1
Languages	English 5.1; subtitled
Length	88 (?) minutes
Rating	BBFC 15
My score	6
It would be a mistake to think this is a 'sequel' to the Blair Witch. The director goes out of his way to do everything differently - there are tracking shots and helicopter shots, cranes and steadicams. Very few shakey hand-held shots. Because this film is NOT a sequel. Instead it is a strange film following the adventures of a bunch of people who decide to go and discover the truth about the Blair Witch. Nice concept. There's a lot of weirdness in the film, like in the beginning we see a girl lying in a graveyard and we have a shot of her lying by a tombstone. This shot is repeated, but the tombstone says something different. Reflections differ from what they should reflect. It is an interesting thing, but I feel more time should have been spent on the movie than on the "Secret of Esrever" gimmick - because it was a movie with definite potential, and personally I feel it would be better to have said nothing about the weirdness (the secret of esrever all but points it all out), because maybe you watch this again and you're like "What the f...?" so you back up and, yes, you didn't imagine it. It really happened. I am happy with it, having got it for eight pounds on a special offer. I see it in Woolies for the full price, and I must say I don't think I'd pay that much - even though it has two DVDs within. Verdict: Missed opportunity. Shame.

DVD #13	Bring It On (2000)	Why cheerleaders are fun! 16:9
Languages	English 5.1
Length	94 minutes
Rating	BBFC 12
My score	7
Well, the picture I've lovingly (!) digitised probably gives you an idea of why the guys like it... nubile girls in miniskirts. Hehe, seriously, I bought this because two cast members of Buffy were in it (Eliza Dushku (Faith) & Clare Kramer (Glory)) and I was expecting a daft but fun film, like, um, I can't think of a good example right now...sorta along the lines of Clueless with pom-poms. This film was reasonably daft, loads of fun, but also delivered a certain 'something' extra. I don't mean the miniskirts, it was like a more serious film than I had imagined it would be. Certainly it was more serious than the ridiculous cover made it out to be. All in all, not bad. Verdict: If you have some disposable cash and aren't allergic to 'teen flicks', try this one.

DVD #14	Buffy The Vampire Slayer - Season 2 (1997/ 1998)	Not a good moment for Jenny. 4:3
Languages	English, French 2.0; subtitled
Length	Approx. 930 (!) minutes
Rating	BBFC 15
My score	8½
Y'all know why I bought this. On the newsgroup uk.media.tv.buffy-v-slayer, season two has taken quite a beating regularly, oft being mentioned in 'worst season' discussions. Well, seasons four and five have the newer sexier Willow, but if I put that aside, season four has some great episodes (Hush) but also that whole stupid Initiative thing. Season five really wins with The Body, but it too has some dumb episodes. Same with season two, it has some great episodes (like Passion), and some daft ones too; and let us not forget that season two is when Buffy started to turn dark. Okay, it is a whiter shade of pale in comparison to the darkness of Angel and later Buffys, but to slate it as your worst season ever? It isn't that bad. I think people who slag season two as their 'worst season' are likely to be people who excuse season one (because it was the beginning) and who don't have memories good enough to remember season two! There is a lot going on, some great moments (the twenty-odd second shot of Buffy ice skating is cool - the camera shots are just perfect (I'll leave it to you to find that, in ~930 minutes of Buffy action!)), and Joss's own 'interesting' commentary, as well as commentaries from other writers, like Marti Noxon. My only real complaint with season two are the visible MPEG artifacts. I watch my DVDs on a normal 14 inch colour TV (SCART connected), so I do not see the aliasing effects of watching DVDs on a sharp high-resolution monitor with a scan rate that doesn't match the DVD frame rate (I am reliably informed that this makes even the best DVDs look horrid), so most of the minor encoding effects are 'blurred' into a smooth image by the TV. But I can see them on the Buffy DVD. Not bad, just slightly noticable - the sort of thing non-geeks might not even realise. Verdict: Expensive, but then Buffy always has been. A nice slice of Buffy action from the earlier days. PS: For the record, I would not vote any Buffy season as 'worst' as they all have good points and bad points. If I had too, I'd probably pick season one as my least favourite, it's short and it's obviously on a budget. But I think 'worst' is too strong a word.

DVD #15	Chicken Run (2000)	Hey, I've got that tea pot. 1.85:1
Languages	English 5.1 DTS; subtitled
Length	81 minutes
Rating	BBFC U
My score	8
Mom heard of Chicken Run. I know Wallace and Gromit. We were not disappointed. This movie is, sadly, too short at eighty one minutes, you feel you want more Chicken action, even if you're just watching them play games in the afternoon, they are that well animated. Verdict: Anybody that doesn't fall in love with Chicken Run is probably a mean industrial battery-hen farmer. Shame on you! I buy free range.

DVD #16	Chocolat (2000)	Mmmm, choccy! 1.85:1
Languages	English 5.1; subtitled
Length	117 minutes
Rating	BBFC 12
My score	6½
My mother's kind of movie (well, she had read the book). It is well acted, and well put together and it simply oozes atmosphere, but it does so for nearly two hours. I think I'm going to have to watch this one once or twice more to figure out exactly what the plot is! Verdict: Lavish, luschious... I don't mean Juliette Binoche, I'm thinking more of the chocolate! And, hot damn, can you believe that the guy is Johnny Depp? He's doing what Keanu Reeves never could get to grips with - actual acting.

DVD #17	L'Été de la peur (1978) [Summer of Fear]	No image yet, sorry. 1.33:1
Languages	English mono; French mono
Length	90 minutes
Rating	FR AP
My score	5
This is fairly standard fare for a seventies horror flick. Not in the same line as The Exorcist, but spooky stuff happens all the same, and everybody overacts in a delightfully hammer manner that has never been truly captured after the seventies. The film is let down by two things they couldn't help, and one thing they could. The first two, a none-too-great transfer (but remember the vintage of this film), and a mono sound mix (but remember the vintage of this film). The last thing? Subtitles. It seems that a number of French DVD conpanies offer you the choice of "VF" (Version Française) or "VOST et sous-titres" (Version Originale Sound-Track with subtitles). Why!?!? Why not have the subtitles able to be switched on and off as desired? My DVD player can do this from the keypad, and I've seen others. The film. It is a Wes Craven creation from 1978. If you want to look it up on IMDb, you'll need to know it's proper name is "Stranger in Our House". It stars Linda Blair, and - if you can believe it - Fran Drescher. Verdict: The plot is 'okay', but it's the sort of thing a station like C5 would show while everybody else is broadcasting the real crowd-pullers...

DVD #18	Falling Down (1992)	One Whammy breakfast right now... :-) 2.35:1
Languages	English, French, Italian in Surround; subtitled
Length	108 minutes
Rating	BBFC 18
My score	7
One scene, above all else, stands in my mind. The WhammyBurger scene. I can so identify with it. I had written here something very uncomplimentary about McDonalds, however since coming to France and 'patronizing' McDo over here - I realise that not only are the McGirls much McCuter and that they actually have a McClue, but also the McBurgers taste McBetter. McDonalds in McBritain McSucks in McComparison. McReally. My complaint (about the movie), as is the complaint of many, is that this film cops out in the last reel. It gives an 'acceptable' Hollywood ending. I suppose it requires that for 'viewer happiness' or something, but it just seems a cop-out. Verdict: Watch this movie. I'm sure most people can identify with 'D FENS' and understand why he does what he does, even if it seems a little extreme for reality.

DVD #19	Final Destination (2000)	Russell Mulcahy woz 'ere! 16:9
Languages	English 5.1; subtitled
Length	94 minutes
Rating	BBFC 15
My score	7
My friend gave me a fourty-thousanth generation copy of this on VHS. It sucked. Not the movie, the quality. It was non-hi-fi and in Long Play. Ick! But I saw enough of the movie to know it was my kinda thing. So I bought the DVD and loved it. Basic premise... Imagine you're on a plane, and you have a premonition the plane is going to blow up. So you shout and go a bit crazy, and they kick you off the plane, along with a few mates that got caught up in the middle of your weirdness. Your mates are annoyed, as they should be on the plane, bound for Paris. Then, well, the plane blows up. What do you do? Some of the IMDb reviews suggest the film is lacking and could have been really much darker and focussed more on the premonition itself. I feel that was a possibility, but there is nothing wrong with the film as it is now. There are plenty of throw-the-popcorn-in-the-air shock moments, a strong film supported by a cast of actors/actresses I've never heard of before all doing their jobs extremely well. In short, I like the film. There is an interesting couple of 'deleted scenes' that add up to the original ending of the movie. To be honest, I feel remaking the ending the way it is now was the right thing to do. I also like the name "Ali Larter". If you are a geek, you'll know why. :-) Verdict: The plot is a little on the lame side, but you are swept away by the near-constant action so you are less likely to notice plot holes. Enjoyable, fun...

DVD #20	Fly Away Home (1996)	1.85:1
Languages	English Surround; subtitled
Length	103 minutes
Rating	BBFC U
My score	8½
I wanted to video this when it was shown on BBC 1, but being the dickhead I am, I set the video to record from AV instead of BBC 1. So I got two hours of nothing. :-( At work, in a nursing home, I just happened to be beside the television when the 'flying home' scenes were on, and I thought it was beautifully filmed. As soon as I discovered my recording error, I got onto the Blackstar website (no, I'm not an affiliate, I'm pleased with their service), and ordered the DVD. It turned up promptly and I was blown away. The sound probably isn't so nifty on a 5.1 system, but it's plenty suitable for my stereo setup. But, the picture quality. Wow! The transfer is amazing. The transfer is so clear you can zoom in and almost read the leg tag of the bird in flight. The image digitised here simply cannot do it justice. But technicals aside, this is a lovely movie with a capable cast and a nice story. Verdict: Lovely.

DVD #21	Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe (1991)	"Ya cooda bin kayuled" 16:9
Languages	English Surround
Length	125 minutes
Rating	BBFC PG
My score	7
A long and gentle movie about friendship. It is hard to explain exactly what this one is about, you need to see it for yourself (that's your gratuitous Matrix misquote for the day). The image is the two friends, the one on the right having just walked (dressed like she is) to a beehive in a tree, and hoiked out a piece of honeyed wax. The girl on the left, a little shocked, is saying "Whaaaa did you dooo theyat? Ya cooda bin kayuled.". Yup, American South accents abound! :-) Mom's favourite quote - "I'm older and I have more insurance!" (or "I moulder knive mernshernce"!). Watch to see it in context. Verdict: I give it a seven as it is a little slow for me, mom would probably give it a nine. So together, it's a movie worth watching.

DVD #22	Gone In 60 Seconds (2000)	Of course, a police chase! 2.35:1
Languages	English, Russian (!) 5.1; subtitled
Length	113 minutes
Rating	BBFC 15
My score	6
A low score for an action movie? That's because the sleeve says This action-packed thrill ride comes out fast and never slows down. Sadly, while there are a good few 'amazing' stunts in this movie, and Nick Cage doing a lot of the driving himself, there are a number of slower moments that hold back the action. Verdict: I cannot say exactly what I was expecting, except that I guess I was expecting something more.

DVD #23	Grosse Pointe Blank (1996?)	1.85:1
Languages	English, French 5.1 and Italian 2.0; subtitled
Length	103 minutes
Rating	BBFC 15
My score	9½
Let me put it like this. I wish I had written this movie. In fact, I wish that my screenplays manage to be as good as being half as cool as this film. John Cusack is a 'professional killer' who is persuaded to return to his high school reunion, ten years on. Back in his home town, things have changed. Like the girl he left waiting on Prom night wanting to know where the hell he's been for the last ten years. Verdict: Simply read the score...

DVD #24	Heathers (1988)	Think she's dead? 16:9
Languages	English 2.0
Length	102 minutes
Rating	BBFC 18
My score	8
The role Winona's parents (or was it her agent?) thought would be best if she didn't play. But she did, and I can't imagine anybody else in the role of the nice sensible girl sucked into the Heather clique (three powerful bitches all called Heather), who falls for a guy (Christian Slater). People get murdered, faked as suicides, and it goes to Slater's head. It's a funny movie if you like dark humour, but it is also loaded with barbed pokes at life in the eighties, like the flakey ex-hippy teacher who says "whether or not to kill yourself is one of the toughest decisions a teenager will make" - love Winona's reply. Verdict: You're possibly getting a feel for the sort of movie I like, huh? :-)

DVD #25	Highlander (1986)	1.85:1
Languages	English 5.1, Spanish and Italian 2.0; subtitled
Length	111 minutes
Rating	BBFC 15
My score	7
There can be only one. The tale of two immortal beings duking it out for the final showdown in the way only Russell Mulcahy can make believable. If you've seen any of the other Highlander films, or the series, then forget them. They suck. This is the original. This is the way it should have been. Verdict: There can be only one. And this, the original, is it.

DVD #26	Les Couleurs du Daible (1996)	Claims to be 1.33:1
Languages	French 2.0
Length	82 minutes
Rating	FR AP
My score	-
This movie is in French, so it is likely to be a while before I understand it enough to write a proper review of it... It seems (at a glance) to be a story about a promiscuous girl who doesn't mind taking her clothes off, a weird painter, and a bald bloke...

DVD #27	Lost Souls (2000)	I've had days like that. 16:9
Languages	English 5.1; subtitled
Length	94 minutes
Rating	BBFC 15
My score	5
The DVD case says this is 16:9, though it looks wider. Taken from the document dvdfave.html: Winona Ryder. Remake of The Exorcist. This really had potential. Instead it seemed more concerned with giving nice visuals. The storyline? Well, the characters did stuff. That was about it. Oh, wait. They didn't do stuff, they did stuff. It doesn't really matter what stuff they did as there wasn't really much of a real purpose as far as I could tell. Let me start again. Winona plays this semi-deranged religious freak who is a little bit cute in a highly eccentric cuddly way. She attends an exorcism and swipes the materials that the guy being exorcised was scribbling on. It was a code. The code spells the name of some guy that happens to be plugging his new book on TV at the time. So she thinks that very soon now the Devil will inhabit this guy and, like, destroy the world. The obvious question here is what exactly should she do to stop this from happening? Well, she doesn't exactly know. Which is forgivable. The writer doesn't exactly know either, which is not forgivable. In the end she does something that, really, could have been done a hell of a lot earlier, thus saving us from having to watch the entirety of this movie. Maxim is quoted as saying "Scary stuff". Did they watch the same movie? Did they watch it at all? Replay...Was Lost Souls actually a let down? This movie is slow, plodding, and has an utterly pathetic script, but trust me, the script is not what is of importance. Pay attention to the visuals. Okay, an hour and a half of pure dark visual is a bit much, even for hardened Ridley Scott fans! As for the story, the question is so not 'is this guy gonna be the antichrist', but more 'is this chick whacko?'. If you've seen it (and maybe hated it), watch it again. I hated it the first time around (as you might tell from the above), but on a second viewing something in my head kinda 'clicked' and I began to see this not as a 'religion fights the devil' but more of an examination of one person's state of mental imbalance. This is a deep, dark sorta movie that should really have be script doctored by somebody who knew better than to chuck in a bunch of tired clicés, but there is a basic premise. It is for this reason that I think this movie actually deserves quite a high score. The point, the purpose, the whole thing appears to have alluded many people who saw it, myself included - the first time around... It is just so very unfortunate that whoever designed the DVD jacket decided to make so many blatant references to The Exorcist (maybe s/he didn't get it either?). Yeah, the girl is religious. Yeah, an exorcism was performed. Um... that's about it. Oh, wait, they both took place in America. Frankly, I could probably draw as many parallels between The Exorcist and, let me think... Chocolat... Yeah... Verdict: After a second viewing, it makes more sense. But the script still sucks big time. More time should have been paid the the script, and less time to the visuals. Any baby director should know that good visuals do not a story make. I've not yet brought myself to listen to the directory's commentary...

DVD #28	Minority Report (2002)	An amusing futuristic weapon - the Sick-Stick. 2.35:1
Languages	English, French 5.1
Length	141 minutes
Rating	FR AC
My score	7½
This is a weird experiment in time compression. The film goes on and on and on (for nearly two and a half hours) but you don't seem to realise it until the credits roll and you realise the sun has gone down...and practically come back up again. Washington, 2054. An experimental "Pre-Crime" unit has been running for six years now. John Anderton (played by Tom Cruise) is the prime police officer in the Pre-Crime unit. Three 'pre-cogs' (people under some kind of dopage) have visions and feed information to a computer. From it we arrive at two wooden balls. One gives the name of the victim, the other gives the name of the killer. John has to sort through the visions to figure out when and where the crime will take place, and their Pre-Crime unit goes to arrest people for the crime that they were going to commit. It's an interesting concept indeed. Until one day, the ball with the name of the killer reads... John Anderton... John has to escape and try to piece together what the hell is going on, given he is now (according to the pre-cogs) going to murder somebody that he has never met in 36 hours. Forget beer here, this is (amazing given it's duration) a fast paced movie with a lot going on. There is a good sense of humour running through this film too. Here, John Anderton is on the run from the Pre-Crime unit, and he boosts one of the rocket packs, taking him and all the other police through the ceiling, and through the floor of a family enjoying a meal... Mind you, it is probably funnier if you're watching the film. Verdict: Consume with pizza and coffee; you want to be totally sober for this!

DVD #29	Mission to Mars (2000)	So exactly where an I supposed to find Beagle 2? There's nothing here! 2.35:1
Languages	English, French 5.1
Length	111 minutes
Rating	FR TP
My score	8
Despite some bizarre leaps in time (I could have sworn one caption said '50 years later'!), this movie focusses on a mission to Mars (obviously) in 2020, which goes wrong, and the follow-up rescue mission which goes even more wrong. Perhaps a vision of what'll happen to NASA if the US administration doesn't push more money into a space programme? This film contains some amazing special effects and camerawork, and is worth watching for that alone. But, unlike a number of forgettable 'effects' movies, this one actually has a story behind it. Verdict: Interesting, well put together, quite impressive.

DVD #30	Nikita (1990)	2.35:1
Languages	English, French Surround; subtitled
Length	115 minutes
Rating	?
My score	8
From the image, you can see why Bridget Fonda was chosen for the early '90s remake (titled "The Assassin" in the UK release), but while the remake had a bigger budget and a fair bit of style, the original film still stands up on it's own. I'm really pleased to have found this (in France, mind you). There's a certain something about the basic premise, as it has spawned a Hollywood remake, a daft film called Little Nikita, an equally daft television series, and a couple of rip-offs. If you should ever watch this DVD, I suggest you switch to the French soundtrack and kick in the subtitles. There's just something about dubbed audio that annoys me. Verdict: A good addition to my DVD collection.

DVD #31	Nurse Betty (2000)	No image yet, sorry. 2.35:1
Languages	English, French 5.1; subtitled in French
Length	105 minutes (the box says 96!)
Rating	FR TP
My score	9
I downloaded the script from someplace before I left England - I just grabbed a few film scripts with interesting titles to read over here in France. The story caught me. It is a lovely story and I had always planned to buy it from an English supplier, so imagine my delight when I found it at a Noz for less than a fiver! What can I say? The story revolves around Betty (Renée Zellweger) who is a waitress addicted to a daft 'hospital' soap called "The Reason To Love". One day, while watching a tape of the episode, her husband entertains two crooks (an excellent Morgan Freeman and Chris Rock) one of who scalps the poor sod. The other crook shoots the husband, a used car salesman, to put him out of his misery! Betty saw the whole thing. It messed with her mind, as you can understand, so she packs up and writes an "I'm leaving you" note to her husband, and sets off to go to find the heart surgeon that she's fallen for (actually, a character in the soap drama). This film has a hell of a lot of the Benny & Joon" vibe to it. It is 'feelgood' but it has more than a touch of sadness to it. Verdict: A really lovely film. If you've not seen this, go get yourself a copy!

DVD #32	Oxygen (2000?)	What's a police movie without a shoot-out and lots of chases? 1.33:1
Languages	English, French 2.0
Length	87 minutes
Rating	FR 16+
My score	6½
Maura Tierny (I should get to like her, she's a talented actress but she replaced Lucy in E.R. and I miss lovely Lucy (who was played by Kellie Martin)...) plays a police inspector-sort of person. Some sicko has kidnapped a girl and buried her in a box, and is leaving clues for the police to pick up in an 'I'm better than you' sort of way. This movie has a lot in common with "83 Hours 'Til Dawn" (with Samantha Mathis as the kidnapee, small world huh?), acting as a fairly standard thriller, only this time there are a number of interesting twists in the plot; and a whole almost-sordid backstory to Maura's character. Verdict: Not bad for your typical 'thriller'.

DVD #33	Stargate SG-1 (2000)	14:9?
Languages	English (2.0? 5.1?)
Length	43 minutes (main episode)
Rating	BBFC PG
My score	6
Kinda hard to review this. The season four cliffhanger episode on a covermount DVD. It is nice that this is a real DVD and not a VideoCD like that episode of The Outer Limits on another DVD magazine (I had to do a remote-control memory hack to my DVD to get it to handle VCDs). But it is hard to review something that is a part of a whole. Um... The exploding star was cool. :-) Verdict: Not bad for a covermount.

DVD #34	Storm (1999)	C'mon, all I want's a damn root beer! 4:3
Languages	English 2.0
Length	90 minutes
Rating	BBFC 12
My score	4
A daft unbelievable low budget movie. The sort that TV companies are likely to broadcast when they feel most people will be doing something other than watching TV... except Channel 5 who'd be likely to show this at 9pm. I saw a bit on Sky years back, and it was cheap, so I bought it to see the entire thing. Verdict: How they got Martin Sheen and Luke Perry on the cast will probably remain a mystery.

DVD #35	Terrorisme en Haute Mer (1999) [Final Voyage]	The passengers learn that they're invovled in a hijacking.... 1.33:1
Languages	French, English 2.0
Length	89 minutes
Rating	FR TP
My score	6
This film gets a six because it is an engaging bit of fluff. Lots of stuff is going on, though if you are a hardened action movie fan, it'll be a five (maybe even less). Sadly, this film is one of those where people unload entire clips at each other, close range, and nobody gets hurt. In fact, towards the end, notice that our hero-bodyguard takes a bullet in the arm, and two shots later there's no blood. The special effects are not 'bad' but are still pretty hard to swallow as they don't exactly obey the laws of physics. A good example is when the ship's tower comes crashing down, it swings down and shifts forwards on impact and then stops. In real life, it'd fall apart and crap would rain down everywhere. Complaints aside: Our security guard, Aaron, begins by travelling as escort for some rich b/w movie star. The plane is hijacked and Aaron single-handedly takes out all the hijackers. The prissy little bitch movie star no longer wants him around as she is in a severe traumatic state because of Aaron's use of his firearm near to her (yes madam, that is why security people are armed, to kick asses of terrorists). He is re-assigned to protect a wealthy little handful in the guise of Erika Eleniak. She takes him abord a new and large cruise liner that is compared to the Titanic (thus guaranteeing it'll have sunk by the end of the movie!). Well, the liner was built on the cheap so it isn't exactly safe, and it just happens to be hit by a group of trigger-happy terrorists headed up by Ice-T.

In the filmographies, the answer as to why Ice-T has given himself such a dumb name (Ice-T?!?) has finally been answered. His original name is Tracy Morrow. Well, if I was trying to make it as a 'gangsta rap' star, and latterly a movie star, I sure as hell wouldn't call myself Tracy Morrow. If nothing else, you'd get agents writing "Dear Ms. Morrow"... I must also point out the 'worried-looking girl in blue'. She appears in a number of the 'passenger' scenes, and is the only one wearing a vivid blue dress. Perhaps she is the director's daughter? Verdict: Stupid but fun. It's a shame the ending is so abrupt...

DVD #36	The 10th Kingdom (1999)	4:3
Languages	English 2.0
Length	415 minutes
Rating	BBFC 15
My score	6 (8½)
Let me first say, for the benefit of the techie DVD crowd, NTSC sucks. No two ways about it. How they manage to continue this as a serious broadcasting format amazes me. This is rated 6 because it is NTSC. It'd be 8½ otherwise... This was a series on Sky One, and it's one hell of a series. God, how do I even begin? There's this wormhole sort of thing linking New York (with the WTC standing proud) with a place divided into nine kingdoms. A place where fairy tales happened. Some trolls come to New York and declare it the 10th Kingdom - hence the title. It is bizarre, it is amusing. It rocks. Verdict: Having seen it on Sky One (and video'd it), I was pleased to be able to get it on DVD.

DVD #37	The Gift (2000)	1.85:1
Languages	English 5.1; subtitled
Length	107 minutes
Rating	BBFC 15
My score	7
An odd movie about a woman who has premonitions (and reads the cards) helping people sort out their lives. Includes Katie Holmes (the cute dark haired one from Dawson's Creek) as you've never seen her before. Verdict: I'm not so sure about this one. Interesting enough story, but would I pay that much for it?

DVD #38	The Lost Boys (1987)	2.35:1
Languages	English 5.1, French and Italian in Surround; subtitled
Length	93 minutes
Rating	BBFC 15
My score	8
Verdict: Vampires hit the Eighties. No review - surely you've seen, or at least heard of, this movie by now? A justified addition to my DVD collection.

DVD #39	The Lost World (2000)	4:3
Languages	Dolby Digital
Length	89 minutes
Rating	BBFC 15
My score	6½
A strange and gentle little thing. Not to be confused with the second in the Jurassic Park series, though this features living dinosaurs in a far-off land. I guess it is set around 1930 or so. I got this because it was cheap, and because it looked interesting in the TV guide, but I was at work while it was on. Verdict: Surprisingly, better than I expected.

DVD #40	The Matrix (1999)	Need I say? :-) 2.35:1
Languages	English 5.1; subtitled (a lot)
Length	123
Rating	BBFC 15
My score	9
Okay. The world you see isn't the real world. It's a simulation - the matrix... Come on, this is the one film that anybody with a DVD player needs to have in their collection. Do I have to tell you that? For those who have seen the movie, certain scenes stand out. Like the phrase "Lobby scene". It can be totally out of context, it can be the only thing you say to me in regards something, and I'll connect. "Lobby scene" - the Matrix, the scene in the lobby. Need I say more? Need anybody say more. I know some people have a hard time with this. Some of my fellow carers said they saw the movie and plain didn't get it. Don't feel bad guys, the writers showed the initial script to the money guys and they (the money guys) knew they had something special, but they didn't get it either. It's a thing called cyberpunk. Not cheese, like in movies like Hackers (which isn't really cyberpunk at all), but the real deal. Indeed, I tend to be anti-'cyberpunk' as I think the phrase brings up the wrong illusions. The Matrix, for all it's little niggles, is our most accomplished cyberpunk movie. Our other, mind you, is Johnny Mnemonic, and that's a tragic cockup of a great piece of literature. Oh, and if you've been led astray by the vocal minority saying how this film is pro-terrorism, then you've got a hard time on your hands. Yes, there are a number of acts in this movie which could be considered acts of terrorism, but really only in the context of trying to free humanity from The Matrix. So, ask yourself, is it just a movie where stuff gets blown up... or are these real acts of terrorism. Because if they are real acts of terrorism, then The Matrix is equally real. Maybe you're in the Matrix right now? Look out of your window. Do you see a black cat walking by? Verdict: Lobby scene. Nuff said.

DVD #41	The Mod Squad (1999)	Claire Danes 1.85:1
Languages	English, French, German, Italian, Spanish 5.1; subtitled
Length	91 minutes
Rating	BBFC 15
My score	5
Never saw the original series. I got this as the Blair Witch DVD was faulty, and this was the same price so I did a straight swap. Um, well, er... This is a movie of missed opportunities. It hurts me to berate Claire Danes (in the excellent 'My So-Called Life' - I want that on DVD NOW, and the strange but attracting 'Romeo + Juliet'), but this movie had a good premise and potential, and I don't feel it delivered. Verdict: Could have been better. Much better.

DVD #42	The Perfect Storm (2000)	When you see a sky like that, you TURN AROUND dammit! 2.35:1
Languages	English, German 5.1; subtitled
Length	125 minutes
Rating	BBFC 12
My score	7
Class. While I'm unhappy about the ending, I know it is a movie reworking of reality so there's only so many liberties you can take, totally changing the plot isn't allowed (though, that didn't stop 'Saving Private Ryan', 'Pearl Harbor', 'Titanic'...). So, all in all, it's a good, solid, well directed movie. Wolfgang Petersen is known for 'The Neverending Story', and that one about a human and an alien 'enemy' crashing on a planet, and having to become friends and understand each other - I never remember the title (added later: "Enemy Mine", and the studio involved apparently insisted on their being a banal 'mine plot' so that American audiences (who must be the stupidest in the world) wouldn't need to realise that the 'mine' in the title is a possessive and not an actual thing). Wolfgang is also known for 'Das Boot', 'Shattered', 'In The Line Of Fire', 'Outbreak', and 'Air Force One' amongst other things. He is also known for HUGE and lavish sets, so here, with The Perfect Storm, he gets to play with real locations. Verdict: An accomplished director, with an accomplished crew, provide an accomplished movie.

DVD #43	The Terminator (special edition) (1984)	1.85:1
Languages	English 5.1; subtitled
Length	103 minutes
Rating	BBFC 15
My score	8½
Surely this is another in the "I don't have to explain this one, do I?" series? For me, I always preferred the original to the sequel, though I'll be damned if I can say exactly why. Verdict: The original, the best.

DVD #44	T2 Judgment Day (ultimate edition) (1991)	2.35:1
Languages	English 5.1 DTS; subtitled
Length	147 minutes
Rating	BBFC 15
My score	8
The sequel had more effects, a reasonable story, and a fairly logical continuation, but while it was good, it doesn't stand up to the original. Don't let this put you off, this is a minor thing, and the two Terminator films have influenced two decades of sci-fi, so they aren't cheesy low budget wannabes. My T2 comes in a special metal case, in a two-disc format. There are loads of things on the second disc. James Cameron has provided well for those who love the whole moviemaking thing, with lots and lots of insider information and behind-the-scenes bits. The only real sadness with this film is that there wasn't enough money to film the full 'nuke' scene as James envisioned it - with hidden nuke silos ripping the ground open and launching from under the city, the park, the lake... You can catch a glimpse of this if you wonder around the 'extras'. Verdict: While I prefer the original, I'd be mad not to have both movies in my DVD collection.

n/a	Tomb Raider (2001)	Bungee dancing - looks like fun! 2.35:1
Languages	English 5.1
Length	96 minutes
Rating	BBFC 12
My score	8
This is not my DVD - a friend loaned it to me... I've always been a fan of Tomb Raider. Having spent many happy hours kicking ass on my PC with Tomb Raider II, and watching screenshots of the more recent offers ('super sexier' to non-geeks, and 'more polygons' to geeks), my PC wishes it could render Lara wearing a slinky dress and pumps just so it and I could bash in some more bad guys that actually look like bad guys, with a Lara that actually looks like a female, instead of TR2's sort-of-use-your-imagination. But another thing that makes Lara cute is the need for a measure of intelligence. This isn't just a case of 'run, kill everything, push the button and the door will open'. In some cases, getting something done is complicated to the point of mental breakdown. And let us not forget her English accent. For a non-American, sometimes it does get a bit tedious hearing all the action people offering a variety of American accents (except southern, you could shoot a entire town in the time it takes a southerner to say "Stayup oh ahl shayewt"! So I was interested to watch Tomb Raider as a movie because so many movies-from-action-games have been remarkably tragic. Indeed, the only thing that saved the pathetic Super Mario Bros. was the ever-cute Samantha Mathis. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that the movie really does flesh out Lara Croft in a believable way, and that Angelina Jolie plays a pretty convincing Lara (accent and all!). Then, upon watching the film's extras, I can add to this by saying that Angelina does her own stuntwork - double surprise (actors/actresses that get a double for anything remotely dangerous should go find a desk job, in my opinion!). In fact, that bungee ballet looks like fun! If you don't know Lara Croft - the story is basically: well-to-do (action) babe tracks down priceless treaures while kicking villains' asses up and down several continents. But if you do know Lara Croft, this movie comes recommended... Verdict: My only complaint, at only 97 minutes you're left gasping for more. Thankfully, a sequel has recently hit the DVD shelves of a-supermarket-or-bookshop-near-you.

DVD #45	Unbreakable (2000)	I know what he did last summer! 2.35:1
Languages	English, French, Italian 5.1; subtitled
Length	102 minutes
Rating	BBFC 12
My score	7½
Isn't it amazing how many different-yet-similar roles Bruce Willis has been doing recently. He seems to have recovered from his old 'action-man who then vowed never to pick up a gun in a movie', to taking on more serious roles - the 6th sense, and this, to name just two. Okay, the deal is this. Our man David Dunn (Willis) is involved in a horrific train crash where he walks away without a scratch on him, the only survivor. From there we enter into some very well balanced supernatural weirdness. The only not-so-great part of the movie, I guess, is the final revelation. But this is all explained when you consider M. Night Shyamalan (writer/director) explaining that it is, in essence, a live-action comic, and we are witnessing the birth of a superhero. Well, if I'd never listened to the extras (there's a whole disc full of them), I'd not have known that. This film never screamed "I'm a comic book hero", and as you watch it, you'll probably make it to the final chapter asking yourself "What the hell was Rick on about"? The extras are pretty impressive - ranging from the cringeworthy 'fight sequence' that M. Night Shyamalan and some friends put together in college, to a nifty feature on the 'train station sequence' that uses the multi-angle facility to swap between the finished scene, and the storyboard pictures. Plus the usuals. Visually, this film is quite impressive. Care is taken to make each scene look good, rather than simply filming the scene. Strong contrasts, backlighting... Verdict: Had 'the great revelation' been omitted (or saved for a sequel) then this film still would have worked, maybe more so. In summation? Not bad. Not bad at all.

DVD #46	Une hirondelle a fait le printemps (2002)	1.85:1
Languages	French 5.1; subtitled in English
Length	103 minutes
Rating	FR TP
My score	7
This movie was bought in France. The audio is French, with English subtitles. This may, at first glance, seem to be one of those movies where it goes on a while, and finishes, but you don't feel anything much has happened. This is indeed a gentle, maybe even slight, movie that shows off some of the European filmmaking. Essentially, it is a story of friendship between the old guy who used to run the farm, and the new city girl who wants to become a farmer; though old guy doesn't seem to think she's up to it. It is the sort of film where things happen in a way that cannot easily be filmed. It is moods, rather than plain visuals. Like the French version of Amélie, this is a twin-DVD pack, you simply must watch the 'original ending'. It makes a lot more sense, and God only knows why they refilmed it with a more ambiguous ending. The title? As far as I can guess, "One swallow makes Spring". There are no swallows in the story, it's a play on the proverb... Verdict: I'm not sure I would have bought this film, had it been my choice alone. But I'm glad I did.

• -- The Blair Witch Project, Woolies Aldershot, watched but returned - faulty disc.

I never used to buy many pre-recorded videos. Why do I have this many DVDs?

• Far superior picture quality.
• Ease of use for getting to scenes. Just imagine how long it'd take me to grab all those pictures using a standard VCR and videos!
• Better audio. Okay, I possibly won't notice a difference between 5.1 and VHS hi-fi on my stereo, but it's there if I want.
• Multilingual, usually. A lot of my DVDs I can show to my French neighbours if they want. I just tell the DVD player to play the French audio, and it does.
• Subtitles. I tend to watch with subtitles on (call me weird). It is nice to have the option.
• Non-contacting medium. You won't 'wear out' the DVD like you can wear out videos.
• I can do stuff like zooming in. I have a fairly liberal and precise control over what I can see, forward, backward, from 1/16 speed to 100x speed.
• More DVDs respect the original format, to some degree. With a video, many are 4:3 unless you look for a 'widescreen'. With a DVD, it is unusual to find a 4:3 unless it was some sort of made-for-TV production. Certainly the majority of movies are widescreen.
• Director's commentaries and deleted scenes. These can give you a useful insight into the movie-making process.
• Far superior picture quality. Again, as the difference, usually, is amazing.