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The cursed parcel

Yesterday around 9pm I contacted Chronopost via their website to say exactly this:
A sticker on my parcel
RICHARD MURRAY RICHARD MURRAY RICHARD MURRAY

As for the rest of the parcel, the address is clearly visible. The Aztec code can be read. It contains my address, it says the parcel originated from Chalons, it weighs 0.68KG. Manifest number, tracking code, my name, blah blah blah. So there's no technical reason the address was incomplete or otherwise unable to be used.

At 3.26 this morning, Amazon sent me another message saying my parcel has been held back because Chronopost require additional information. Note, by the way, that nothing ever specifies what this information is, and tracking the parcel on Chronopost's own site makes no mention of needing extra information. Then at 6.38am Amazon's status was updated to say that the parcel was in course of delivery. Which is interesting as that's not what it said at quarter to eight...

With a nail-biting half hour tracking the truck in realtime during my break (please don't dump it at a collection point please don't dump it at a collection point please don't dump it at a collection point) it finally arrived chez moi.
Oddly enough, with exactly the same address as they were originally given. Funny, that.

The parcel arrives
The parcel arrives.

Dressed with that orange jacket and the baseball hat on backwards, I'm sorry...

Meet me in the crowd, people, people
Throw your love around, love me, love me
Take it into town, happy, happy
Put it in the ground where the flowers grow
Gold and silver shine......

So, I go home all excited for American (<cough>GMO?</cough>) macaroni cheese but...

...yeah...

...there's always something.

This isn't right
This isn't right.

Yup. Squashed parcel and food equals disaster. There's a full "unboxing" video on my YouTube channel.

I got back in touch with Amazon, since their system claimed I was eligible to return the damaged products but wouldn't allow me to continue (they don't take back damaged food products). I pointed the customer service person to the video, don't know if she watched it. It's had two views and one like in the hour since it was uploaded. ☺

Anyway, she wasn't able to send me a replacement, but was able to issue a refund. So I went back and, with the €5 credit for the previous parcel stupidity, went and ordered three more of them. I trust Amazon won't use Chronopost this time. Please, pretty please, just don't.

Now, what did we achieve? Other than a massive comedy of errors. A waste of time. Don't get me wrong, the only mistake Amazon made is in automatically choosing to ship the parcel with that carrier. But it's me who paid (in lost time and not having the products when they're supposed to have been with me) and it's certainly Amazon that paid (the credit note and eventual refund). And the main problem here? Got paid whatever their contract with Amazon is in order to give a service that's quite lacking.
I get it. It live in the middle of nowhere. Chronopost don't like coming out here because there's only so many winding country roads and cows their drivers can tolerate. But, here's the thing. If they aren't willing to do the job, they shouldn't tender for it. You know, I am not eligible for the "same day super-rapid-rush" delivery that Amazon offers because, well, I don't live somewhere like the thirty third arrondissement of a massive city. Whoever does that is honest enough to say "Ain't going to no farm in the back of beyond". So if Chronopost want to defer "next day" parcels for us bumpkins and yokels until they have enough (probably Amazon parcels!) to justify coming out to these haunted places, well, then they simply should say "No, cities only".

 

The customer service rep said I could either eat the product if I feel it is acceptable, or I can discard it. Well, I might salvage the cheese sachet and have that with some of my own pasta tonight (perhaps penne?). I can't salvage the macaroni. Most of that is in the parcel, on the table, in the letterbox... probably in that guy's van...

 

So, three packs of macaroni to come. Will this be a rinse&repeat or will they sent it via Colissimo and have Catherine bring it out in the post van like normal? They say it'll be here on Thursday, no "next day" stuff like before. Hey, maybe Amazon has blocked my account from having "next day delivery" offers. That's fine. Next day delivery is pretty useless if it takes three working days (and two days not worked) and turns up damaged.
A small cheap pair of wire cutters? Ordered on Friday, came in the post truck yesterday.

 

Range anxiety is real

I now have the user guide for my car. It says that topping up the battery is acceptable, it's what I've been doing, putting it on charge after coming home from work, but that I must periodically perform a full charge.
Which means a full discharge.

So now I will next charge either on Thursday evening or Friday evening depending on how the indications go. With an anticipated range of 117km and ~26km to work, I think four days might be pushing it a little too close to the line. But, hey, as each day progresses I'll have less and less capacity. If something should happen on Thurday that requires me to drive to, say, Châteaubriant, well, no can do.
So, yes, range anxiety. It's a thing.

 

 

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C Ferris, 3rd September 2024, 21:48
117k = 70Miles 
One gallon of Diesel! Hmm
David Pilling, 3rd September 2024, 23:05
With small batteries a complete discharge is something battery chargers may do. New thing if cars are going to start doing that - put it on bricks and watch the wheels go round - or connect up to house heating to flatten it. 
jgh, 4th September 2024, 14:19
In 2020 I did a few months' work as a courier. Amongst the deliveries, just in East Yorkshire, I had: 
* A former level crossing cottage down a half-mile bridleway near Beverley. 
* A single house in a hamlet called Swine, which was three miles from the main road. 
* Somewhere called Ulrome where I was driving so far down a lane I was expecting to be in the North Sea 
 
...and I found all of these reasonably easily. The hardest one in 800+ deliveries was a farm in Crow Edge where inspiration occured and I looked at the "Old Maps" 1:2500 maps to find the house. 
 
As per my previous comment.... don't they have maps in France? ;) 
David Pilling, 5th September 2024, 17:29
"It's had two views and one like in the hour since it was uploaded." 
 
One view and the like was me - building the channel. If you'd sucked up the spilled macaroni with a straw it could have got more views/likes.
jgh, 6th September 2024, 11:31
Wait, you're *not* a 22-year-old musician in the Netherlands? That's where I've gone wrong. ;) 
Rick, 6th September 2024, 19:01
Nope, not a musician. Nor a Dutch-South African triathlete, nor at CalTech, nor anything to do with Orca Computing, and I'm not in charge of The King's Fund. 
 
There are a lot of Richard Murrays out there, all more interesting than this one. 
A tree-dwelling mammal, 7th September 2024, 13:17
I'm guessing these muppets haven't heard of the What3Words app?
Rick, 7th September 2024, 14:00
What Three Words is a non-starter. 
 
Why? Primarily because it is a proprietary patented technology. Which means emergency services will support the use of it (out of necessity) but private companies might prefer not to. Secondly there are issues of spelling and comprehension, especially with words that are similar to other words, and how W3W works, similar words can be quite far apart. 
 
And, of course, they knew exactly where I am, they just didn't feel like coming. My "you can find it on Google Maps" was intended mostly as a non-answer. To respond to them when no response should have been necessary. 
jgh, 8th September 2024, 13:39
It's not scalable - you can't add characters to zoom in, you can't remove characters to zoom out. 
It's not progressive - you can't increment to move in one direction, you can't decrement to move in the opposite direction. 
It's not calculatable - you can't measure from a starting point, add some maths, and get the result. 
They're not visible - they don't appear on maps, you can't run your finger across the map from a reference point to the destination point and get the location code. 
 
In the UK and Ireland, Grid References have been around for more than 100 years. 
 
They are scalable - SK3388 gives me the 1km grid in my home town. SK335881 zooms in to 100m, SK33528817 zooms in to 10m, SK3352288171 zooms in to 1m... 
 
They are progressive - SK3388 move east SK3488 move east SK3588 move east SK3688... 
 
The are calculatable. In GB start at the 2degree West line and measure east/west, start at a point near The Channel; and measure north. Done. 
 
They are visible. They appear on all proper maps along the edges, with grid lines crossing the sheet. 
 
And guess what!!!!! France has grid references too!!!! And has had them since the 1930s - Universal Transvers Mecator World Grid Reference. Avranches is in 100km grid square XU, zoom in XU29, zoom in XU2195, zoom in XU210955 etc. all down to an identifiable single square metre. 
 
Move 25km east to Junvigny - add 25 to the grid reference easting: XU4695. 
 
When I was flagged down by somebody who had broken down on the Pennines without a phone signal, I took his details, drove to get a signal and reported "On the A57 near SK095928 - sierra kilo zero niner five niner two eight".
Rick, 8th September 2024, 17:05
All that JGH said. 
 
Alternatively, there's the global coordinate system of North/South and West/East. 
 
Rennes is 48° 6′ 52.92″ N, 1° 40′ 45.84″ W, which can also be written as 48.1147, -1.6794. 

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