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Musings on Rule 34
Rule 34 is one of the principal tenets of the web - namely:
RULE 34: If it exists,
there is porn of it.
No exceptions.
Emphasis on the "is", for this meme is partly providing commentary on the expected level of depravity on "the internet" where people can find content that could be described as pornographic with some measure of ease (unless you are a Daily Mail reader, in which case you will believe that the porn finds you. The meme also makes reference to some of the bizarre things that people make porn about. Those of you who have bothered to read "fanfic" will know that the huge majority of fanfic is basically an excuse to have an author-avatar get it on with Summer Glautheir favourite character.
That said, we can have a little bit of fun with this, imagining some "porn" that is nuts but - you never know - might actually exist on some grimy little recess of the Dark Net.
Piston porn
The piston, as in that lovely shiny hunk of solid metal that rams up and down inside your engine. It goes up, bang!, it comes back down. Remind you of anything?
As if that wasn't loaded with enough innuendo, I feel the need to point out that a (fairly rare) piston-less eccentric rotary engine is called the Wankel engine.
Yes, I figure there is a fair amount of milage in piston porn. And... Yes, that terrible pun was intentional.
Broken video recorder drive belt porn
One might suggest that this is something of a niche fetish; and possibly one destined to fade to obscurity.
On the plus side, you can get some awesome groaning noises as a tape drive attempts to thread with a broken belt in the works. Especially Betamax decks with their wonderfully zany C-drive system.
Broken mobile phone screen porn
Look how the patterns shift when you caress the screen. It's as if the screen is alive! Oh yes!
Mouldy tomatoes that were never picked porn
You know, I'm actually having difficulty coming up with some innuendo here. I could liken a mouldy tomato to a testicle, but that's in danger of requiring brain bleach, so I think we'll just skip on to:
USB plugs that don't fit your socket porn
Plugs that don't fit the socket? Must... resist... temptation... [hint: it isn't PG rated]
Leaky battery porn
What's this gooey stuff squirting out of... <cough> you get the idea.
Megaphone porn
A large tube. Speaks for itself really.
Over to you. Come up with the most improbable "porn" ever. Bonus Brownie Points for added helpings of innuendo.
But, you know, try to keep it clean!
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| The Phat Controller, 9th January 2014, 11:10 |
Train porn?
Thomas the Tank Engine getting spit-roasted by Gordon and Henry? |
(Felicity? Marte? Find out!)
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Last read at 10:13 on 2024/04/19.
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