Musings on Rule 34
Rule 34 is one of the principal tenets of the web - namely:
RULE 34: If it exists,
there is porn of it.
Emphasis on the "is", for this meme is partly providing commentary on the expected level of depravity on "the internet" where people can find content that could be described as pornographic with some measure of ease (unless you are a Daily Mail reader, in which case you will believe that the porn finds you. The meme also makes reference to some of the bizarre things that people make porn about. Those of you who have bothered to read "fanfic" will know that the huge majority of fanfic is basically an excuse to have an author-avatar get it on with
Summer Glautheir favourite character.
That said, we can have a little bit of fun with this, imagining some "porn" that is nuts but - you never know - might actually exist on some grimy little recess of the Dark Net.
The piston, as in that lovely shiny hunk of solid metal that rams up and down inside your engine. It goes up, bang!, it comes back down. Remind you of anything?
As if that wasn't loaded with enough innuendo, I feel the need to point out that a (fairly rare) piston-less eccentric rotary engine is called the Wankel engine.
Yes, I figure there is a fair amount of milage in piston porn. And... Yes, that terrible pun was intentional.
Broken video recorder drive belt porn
One might suggest that this is something of a niche fetish; and possibly one destined to fade to obscurity.
On the plus side, you can get some awesome groaning noises as a tape drive attempts to thread with a broken belt in the works. Especially Betamax decks with their wonderfully zany C-drive system.
Broken mobile phone screen porn
Look how the patterns shift when you caress the screen. It's as if the screen is alive! Oh yes!
Mouldy tomatoes that were never picked porn
You know, I'm actually having difficulty coming up with some innuendo here. I could liken a mouldy tomato to a testicle, but that's in danger of requiring brain bleach, so I think we'll just skip on to:
USB plugs that don't fit your socket porn
Plugs that don't fit the socket? Must... resist... temptation... [hint: it isn't PG rated]
Leaky battery porn
What's this gooey stuff squirting out of... <cough> you get the idea.
A large tube. Speaks for itself really.
Over to you. Come up with the most improbable "porn" ever. Bonus Brownie Points for added helpings of innuendo.
But, you know, try to keep it clean!
Please note that while I check this page every so often, I am not able to control what users write; therefore I disclaim all liability for unpleasant and/or infringing and/or defamatory material. Undesired content will be removed as soon as it is noticed. By leaving a comment, you agree not to post material that is illegal or in bad taste, and you should be aware that the time and your IP address are both recorded, should it be necessary to find out who you are. Oh, and don't bother trying to inline HTML. I'm not that stupid! ☺
You can now follow comment additions with the comment RSS feed. This is distinct from the b.log RSS feed, so you can subscribe to one or both as you wish.
|The Phat Controller, 9th January 2014, 11:10|
Thomas the Tank Engine getting spit-roasted by Gordon and Henry?
Japanese Red Cross
Earthquake relief donations have closed.
Read about the JRC
Make a general donation
List all b.log entries
Return to the site index
© 2014 Rick Murray
This web page is licenced for your personal, private, non-commercial use only. No automated processing by advertising systems is permitted.
RIPA notice: No consent is given for interception of page transmission.